Priscilla, Diana, Jackie, Aileen, and Salina, together we are the fantastic five, saving the world from evil by having a strong friendship. Haha JK about saving the world, but we are the fantastic five and we do have a strong friendship. Our “clique”, “groupie”, “club”, “circle”, or whatever you want to identify us, includes: Priscilla, Jackie, Salina, Aileen, and Diana. Each of us has different looks, backgrounds, personalities, qualities, talents, and lots of other stuff that makes us what we are, well, best friends. Diana the artist, Aileen the overachiever, Priscilla the social and personality, Jackie the athlete, and Salina the singer, we are all different in many ways but that is why we get along so well. This summer, the summer after middle school and before high school, will be the most challenging, exciting, scary, adventurous, surprising, and overall, awesome summer ever. The five of our lives are essentially never going to be the same after this summer of twist, turns, and through streets that just may seem like dead ends.
The 8th grade year has come to an end. Many wonderful times and many more dreadful times, but we got through it, together. When I mean “we”, I mean my little clique of friends: Aileen, Jackie, Salina, Diana, and me. After all the complicated work, all the struggles to get through 8th grade and move on in life, everything is finally over. Everything in this story is “we” because we are always together, through the good times and the bad, and we are always part of each other, none complete without another. “All students please report to the commons immediately for the 8th grade ceremony.” Mrs. Merritt announced on the loudspeaker. Jackie, Aileen, Priscilla, Salina, and Diana were sitting in the front row of seats in our 4th period Language Arts class, in that exact order and stood up to go to the commons. “Oh my god!” Jackie screamed at the top of her lungs. “Do you know what this means?” “Oh my god! We are gonna get our little certificate thingies for like, best dressed and stuff!” Priscilla yelled also screaming at the top of her lungs. Then, Jackie, Diana, and Priscilla began waving their hands in the air and screaming like the little girly girls they are. Salina kept staring at us, obliviously not believing how weird we are. Aileen on the other hand was also waving her hands and screaming but not for the same purpose, she was mocking them. “Hey! We are just excited so back off!” Diana shot to Aileen after giving her a sharp glare. Then at that point in time, we all began cracking up and giggling because we were SO not going to start a fight right before Middle School Graduation! “Come on students; let’s get our butts down to the commons now!” Mrs. Walker, our 4th period Language Arts Honors teacher, yelled loudly in her military tone. “Affirmative, Sir yes sir!” A voiced spoke out. The voice was obliviously Jimmy’s, Jimmy Schmidt, I mean; he has always been one to crack jokes. The class began to break into hysterics, even Mrs. Walker. “Okay okay, that’s enough jokes for one year; now seriously, let’s get down there!”
The assembly was extremely tedious and strenuous, but finally it was time for the 8th grade awards. “For MVP for ###################### track, I am honored to award “Iliane Isakahrvo” with the ###################### certificate.” Mr. Chicka announced. Mr. Chicka, the vice principal, is always the one participating in announcements, awards, school events, and pretty much everything. Gauche silence. “It’s Aileen, Aileen Isakharov you retard!” Aileen, Priscilla, Salina, Jackie, and Diana shrieked and right after that, they dropped down under the chairs so they wouldn’t get caught, a perfect way to end the school year. “Ahummm… I’m sorry, Aileen, let me say that again.” “For MVP for ######################, I am honored to award Aileen Isakharov with the ###################### certificate.” Well, like the old saying goes, the second try is always the best! Umm…….. not really but whatever, lets just pretend that is the saying, okay? A loud applause followed by screams, mostly from Priscilla, Salina, Jackie, and Diana, Aileen walks up to the microphone “Go Chickens. Peace out.” Then, again, more applause. “Next, for most talented, Salina Abraham!” Thank God he pronounced her name correctly. “Thank you so much everybody, I would like to thank my parents and friends ---“ “Excuse me, Ms. Abraham, a speech is not necessary.” Salina ignores Mr. Chicka and continues to talk, until, well, the school security comes. She says one last “thank you” and is forced off the stage, talk about guts! “Okay…..Next, I would like to present Jackie Manson for the most dazzling smile. Congratulations!” Jackie scampers up to the stage, grabs the certificate, and squeals an “Oh my god!” so high pitched, I swear, the windows should have broken, but instead the microphone made these screeching sounds, talk about magical powers! “For most creative student, Diana Chen come on up and receive your award!” She walks up there, takes the certificate, and then just simply walks back to her seat. “Last but not least, I would like to award ############ for most charming personality!” The crowd screams, whistles, and claps as Priscilla struts down the main walkway to the stage to claim her award. She walks up to Mr. Chicka, takes the certificate, and then walks to the microphone and says, “Thanks everybody! I am so honored, I love you all!” Then the crowd goes wild again, what a crowd pleaser! After the assembly, everyone was talking about “the fantastic five” and how we each got an award for something. I guess we are just simply amazing, like that’s a surprise. The awards ceremony took up so much time, by the time everyone was out of the commons, the bell rung at precisely 2:30 PM, indicating that school had ended and summer had begun. Oh yeah!
Preppy4LIFE: OMG, I cannot believe school is over!
PinkyInRussian: I %26lt;3 Chickens.
DeeDi4Diana: Okay… that was random.
Jaxgrrrrl: Yeah totally. I know!
Lina123: So what are your guys’ plans for the summer?
Dee4Diana: Maybe checking hot guys out?
Preppy4LIFE: yeah on the internet. LOL. ;]
Jaxgrrrrl: HAHA LOL.
Lina123: LOL. :]
PinkyInRussian: Oh my chicken, is that all you guys say on AIM? LOL?
Lina123: At least we don’t say chicken between every other word.
PinkyInRussian: HEY! I was kidding!
Dee4Diana: Suuuuuurrrrreeee…. Whatever Aileen
Jaxgrrrrl: I totally agree with Priscilla. LOL.
PinkyInRussian: What’s with the whole “LOL” thing? You guys are :O
Dee4Diana: OH no you didn’t!
PinkyInRussian: OH yes I did.
Preppy4LIFE: Ooooohhh watcha gonna do about that diss?
Dee4Diana: Oh is on Aileen, bring it on.
PinkyInRussian: It’s been brought.
Jaxgrrrrl: We should totally do something together during summer!
Preppy4LIFE: OMG, totally. We should go to….
Dee4Diana: Tokyo!
Lina123: New York!
PinkyInRussian: CHICKEN!
Preppy4LIFE: uhh…. Okay… a bit random…… OMG this is gonna be fun!
Jaxgrrrrl: How ‘bout Mexico? I mean it at least would be hot!
Preppy4LIFE: OMFG! Awesome. I vote Jackie.
Dee4Diana: Me too.
Lina123: Me three.
PinkyInRussian: Me four.
Preppy4LIFE, PinkyInRussian, Lina123, Dee4Diana, Jaxgrrrrl: Perfect!
From that moment on, all of our phones have been ringing off the hook due to all of us calling each other at every and any waking moment possible, to talk about the trip. It was planned. We would be flying from the SeaTac Airport to the El Rosa Airport at 4 AM on July 13, 2008 and come back exactly 6 weeks later. This would be our first big trip together and it would make our lives change forever, even more than we would have thought! We would be on flight number 1376 on Mexico International Airlines. There were five tickets, one for each of us, and we would be staying at Priscilla’s grandma’s friend’s home who just happens to live next door to This trip, though we may not know it, is going to change our lives and have many twists and turns that will carry all of us on a journey, together.
“Flight 1376 is ready to board, I repeat, Flight 1376 is ready to board, if this is your flight, please report to terminal C9 to board the plane. Thank you.” That was our cue to get out of Starbucks and get going towards our terminal before we miss our plane, which wouldn’t be good, not good at all. Priscilla ordered a light caramel frappicino with triple shots and whipped cream, Salina ordered a mocha cappuccino, Jackie, a pumpkin spice frappicino, Diana a black coffee, and Aileen, a hot chocolate. After all our orders were completed, it was 3:40 AM! ****! That means that we have five minutes to run across the airport with drinks in one hand, luggage in the other, and whatever else Salina, Jackie, Priscilla, Diana, and/or Aileen might be carrying along. We pass California Pizza Kitchen, getting a little closer to our destination but with only four minutes left. We convert from a jog to a full out sprint and all of our drinks begin to spill along the edges of the cups and our luggage is practically being dragged, but none of this matters if we FREAKING GET ON THE PLANE IN TIME!!!! We get so desperate we just drop our drinks on the floor, pick up our bags, and run like there is no tomorrow, and there won’t be if we don’t get that plane! By the time we were in the C terminal, there was only one minute left! OMG! Running through the crowds of people and weaving through obstacles, we finally found terminal C9 and ran to the guy at the check-in counter and gave him our tickets. Then we tiredly dragged ourselves into the small tunnel that connected to the plane, picked our seats, conveniently all in one row, and dropped ourselves into the comfort of the supple leather seats and prepared for a journey of a lifetime.
We each entertained ourselves with diverse activities throughout the long plane ride. Diana doodled on every possible little space in her notebook, both Jackie and Salina were listening and singing along to their IPODs, Priscilla was taking millions of pictures of herself with her new hot pink Polaroid digital camera, and Aileen was playing with her brand new Nintendo DS. Finally, three hours later, three ELONGATED hours later, we landed at the LAX Airport in Los Angeles, CA. Next, we were supposed to go on Flight 9286 to Mexico City, Mexico at 9:50 AM at terminal B3, according to Priscilla, and meet Priscilla’s grandma’s friend named Claire. For now on, let’s just call her Claire and not have to elucidate the whole Priscilla’s grandma’s friend thingy all the time. Anyways, it was about 7:15 AM and Salina’s and Priscilla’s stomachs were growling, what’s new? We all decided to go to Burger King for breakfast - I know, how healthy – and everybody ordered some kind of salad because this summer, we were all trying to lose a few pounds at the least. We had about 2 hours and 35 minutes to kill so we were strolling through the airport, shopping, getting drink and snacks, looking at books in BORDERS, and just pretty much browsing around. All five of us, I guess, were preoccupied with something because none of us had noticed the announcement for Flight 9286 at 8:50 AM! We found that out when we went to terminal B3 at 9:50 AM on the dot to board the plane and were told that the plane left an hour ago. Aileen had the initiative to ask the employee if we could catch another plane but unfortunately, flights to Mexico are infrequent so there wouldn’t be another one for about 4 weeks! What are we going to do in Los Angeles, CA for four weeks?! We can’t just decide to fly back to Washington because that would mean we came out here to California for nothing! We left Washington State looking for adventure and the best summer ever, and little did we know that what we were looking for was right around the corner.
“Hey ummmm…. Mom?” Jackie said hesitantly. “Hi honey, aren’t you supposed to be on your flight right now?” Jackie’s mom answered back questionably. “Uhhhhh…. Yeah that’s the problem….. we kind of missed our flight…..” Silence. “WHHHAATTTT!!!!???” “Ummmm…. Well the worst part is that their wont be another flight to Mexico in four weeks.” Jackie says quietly. “Oh my god, young lady, you are going to be in so much trouble when you come back!” Jackie’s mom yells and then in a calmer voice, “Let me call your aunt who luckily lives in that area and have her pick you five up. Meanwhile, just stay there.” Psshhh…. Like we have any other place to go.
The LAX Airport was a pretty exciting place to be considering the fact that some celebrity that we couldn’t see due to the crowds of paparazzi and the many security guards surround and what seemed to be, a tall blonde celebrity. We probably each thinking, Wow, I wish I was famous so I could be: in all these magazines and photos, filthy rich, have everyone worship me, known to all people, and able to do whatever I want. The paparazzi always following you everywhere, unlimited money, hang out with all the famous people in the magazines who you longed to be, and have special treatment anywhere you go, being famous would make life seem a lot easier. All of a sudden, the blonde celebrity began walking towards the ladies room and darted through the door. After her entrance, the five out of twelve bodyguards she had stood in a row covering the entrance to the restroom. “Oh my god, we have to get in there!” Priscilla whispered as she began to huddle the five of us into a tight circle. “So let’s decide the game plan now. Diana, get all your red inks and paints and color Salina’s “lower area” red, then Salina, go up to the security guards and ask for a tampon and say its an emergency. Then Diana, go up to the some of the other guys and start gibbering to them and just start talking REALLY fast. Jackie, you need to stand up on the tables and chairs and have like…..a singing performance or something. I dunno, you’ll think of something. All three of you need to distract the paparazzi, bodyguards, and people in the airport so Aileen and I can break in through the janitor’s entrance without being seen. We’ll be as quick as possible, I promise. Does each of you know your position?” Salina, Jackie, Aileen, and Diana all seemed confused by what Priscilla just explained and kind of just stood their shocked for a few moments and a minute later, they shot their hands in the middle of the huddle and yelled “BREAK!” The diabolical plan has begun.
PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY STORY thing!!!?
it's very good, try to find a publisher
I think during your descriptive passages (which are on the whole excellent) you are tending to go out the way to include information for all five of the characters, this, I feel could be dealt with slightly more subtly by perhaps giving a general description of an activity and focusing on the idiosyncrasy's of one individual in each situation, which would allow for an even more descriptive narrative with a deeper examination of motives
also the reason for gaining access to the celebrity could be better worked, using red to color the lower regions is a little gross, I cant think of one but you have a great imagination so I'm sure that would be no trouble
on the whole, for me, it reads like the introduction to a movie and could work well as a screen play (with a little 'fleshing out')
you definitely have a talent there, good work keep it up :)
flower show
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment